At one time in my life I was a converted member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was a good Mormon wife, trying my best to be what I thought God wanted me to be. I was actively running away from my true self, the same true self I had been living with for years, growing up as a practicing Roman Catholic.
I had a deep desire all my life to stand up for what was right, to be a champion for God and the truth of Jesus Christ. I prayed incessantly for the “thorn in my side,” my feelings of deep affection toward women, to be taken from me, but wasn’t able to get a clear answer. Instead, I was continually being drawn to women instead of away.
Occasionally while in deep meditation and prayer, I actually get a very clear answer from the “still, small voice” of the Holy Spirit. One time when I was being very specific in my prayer, asking why I was attracted to this one woman, I basically surrendered to God’s will. I received a clear and concise answer – “Tell her. Remember, the truth will set you free.”
So of course I told her how I felt, and luckily for me, she was kind and understanding, although she was a straight woman.
Why was this lucky? Because it was the first time I had ever told ANYONE my truth, and was not beaten down, struck by lightning, or any other bad thing. The best outcome after actually speaking my truth, I began my journey to living my truth. Indeed, the key to my internal freedom was “speaking my truth quietly and clearly,” both to someone with whom I felt safe, and more importantly, to myself.
So, what is God’s work in all of this? What God wants for each of us is actually very simple, yet very hard to implement in most peoples’ lives – To be true to ourselves! Be true in all our transactions, interactions, having continuity between our body, mind and spirit. Live our truth, stand up for truth when truth is being trampled, and be willing to give our lives for the truth.
The Universe is Kind....
