Mercy Trumps Judgment

What do you do with a wayward child?  Love them even more.  Anger only strengthens their resistance. The same goes for spouses, friends, employees, parents…
Mercy always trumps judgment.

This is from the daily email I get from the website that has Kaballah on it.  I know that it's something I REALLY need to hear today, because the anger I am feeling is really deep and hurts really bad.  Even though I know that I should love more and replace the anger I feel with love instead, I am feeling my humanity, I am feeling the clay I am made of, I'm not feeling very spiritual.

I really try and succeed most of the time.  Change the angle I'm looking at the situation and love the hate that is being aimed at me from others.  From the hate I'm feeling from myself, THAT'S the one that is the deal-breaker.  This hate tells me I'm not good enough, I'm not thin enough, I don't exercise enough, I don't pray enough, I shouldn't feel the way I feel, yet I feel the way I feel because of having been told the above all my life. 

I'm just sick of it.  I know I am good enough.  I know I have a way to go to be physically fit, but then, as I look at all the other clay figures moving around in this life, each of them have the same challenge.  I pray plenty, and have my own conversations with the Universe, and the Universe thinks I'm just fine and am moving in the right direction. 

So I suppose I should feel the anger I feel, and that I'm justified in feeling it.  Now, do I make a change that is radical, or do I change the angle that I'm looking at it and bring love back? 

Why do I even have to ask this question?  Just asking the question hurts me deeply.  The Universe only wants me to act in love.  And I have to look at the reality I am currently in and make that decision -- here's a fork in the road, the signs both have the same message -- This way to love.  That way to love.  Both choices are always rocky and filled with deep grooves and potholes that need to be avoided. 

And just why did I sign up for this when I decided to come into this life? 

The Universe is Kind...even when It's cruel, It's Kind.